Today shouldn't have any significance anymore but it still does.  I can't sit around and say "it should be six years today" when it never made it that far and I've lost the right to continue to be pathetic.  It's not enough to stop thinking about him and how he's still haunting me.  What do you do when your ghosts are still alive?

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I don't even know where to begin, I'm so confused and upset.  I had heard from him on my birthday via the ever-present Facebook message, but the phone call came out of nowhere.  One hour, 41 minutes, and 16 seconds later, I still don't know where I stand and how he really feels.  Once again, the king of the mixed message strikes.  Now I have to contend with the reality that he still thinks about me, is harboring potential suicidal tendencies, and still thinks he's a martyr and did the right thing (as he said over and over again).  I can't handle this.  Not before the 2nd certification test tomorrow morning.  I am still stunned and shaky.

Me: Thank you for calling the BAC, this is Anna, how may I help you?

Caller: Could you kick me in the balls?

Me: Excuse me? (trying hard not to laugh)

Caller: Could you kick me in the balls?

Me: May I ask what this is in regards to?

Caller: hangs up

And yes, this really happened.  And I got to crawl on the dirty bathroom floor to open a stall that was locked from the inside, and it would have been fine had I not been seen by a member and then saw another member moon me.

I'm driving home from class and yes, I have the radio on a Top 40 station.  No comment, please.  The song is light, has a nice beat, and isn't overplayed at the moment.  I really like it.  In fact, I'm content!

The song ends, and I hear THIS:

"And that was the Jonas Brothers with 'Paranoid' right here on Kiss 98.5..."

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*headsteeringwheel*

You'd think we lived in Twilight-land the way it has been raining lately.  Why is it that there's a once a week quota in place for nice days?  The thermostat is messed up too, so not only is it pouring rain, but all the windows are open.

Session 2 of summer school has started and it's much easier to take one summer class instead of two.  I do miss YA though, and am consoling myself by catching up on the entire Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series.  Sadly, this doesn't help me one bit in Reference class.

Apparently, I need a vacation more than I realized.

Last night I found myself watching The Secret Life of the American Teenager.  I hadn't watched this show before on principle because the creator is the same freakshow that created 7th Heaven.  I don't need to be preached at by fiction.  Since the commercials are always on, I got the general gist of the show.  Unfortunately, it didn't prepare me for what I was about to see.

7th Heaven had a reputation for being preachy and godawful.  This show is no exception.  The whole premise revolves around a 15 year old with a baby, but that's not the worst part.  Last night, a character lost her virginity to her boyfriend and then immediately found out that her father died.  Her mother tried to tell her that it wasn't the sex that caused his death (I guess there was a disapproval issue), but the daughter wasn't having it.

How is this still allowed?  Why are we still punishing girls who decide to have sex?  The main character got pregnant, an obvious punishment.  But why was this girl given the storyline of "have sex, kill father"?  Judy Blume's daughter was on to something when she requested a book where two nice kids have sex and nothing bad happens.  We all know how Forever... turned out.  It's enough to make me start a protest.  No one ever seems to mind when conservatives flare up about all the sex on TV, but what if the sex on TV is always paired with a massive consequence?

http://www.yahoo.com/s/1090320

Of course, Fox News always sucks.  But why is this such a bad thing?  They say that these schools are fostering unnecessary competition by compiling rank.  But it doesn't matter!  Plenty of schools don't have an honor roll or an honor society and don't have a valedictorian.  What are these people getting so worked up about?  Look at good old Brighton.  No rank, no valedictorian, and plenty of unnecessary competition.  Trust me, schools will always find a way to make students feel like crap while singling out those who would theoretically be valedictorians.  There is always room for your school to make your unique snowflake child feel validated, but most likely your snowflake will be told that they suck and don't deserve to get into a name brand college.  The end.

I know I haven't said much lately, but there's not much to say.  Summer school is plodding along.  I work.  I've come to the conclusion that I'm not too happy right now but don't know what to do about it.  I miss people that I shouldn't miss.  You'd think with all this drama I'd have more to say.

I went hiking in Akron Falls Park on Sunday.  My goal for the summer was to experience nature, and we certainly did.  In between the hazardous terrain, the snake, the waterfall, the sketchy hollowed out house, the islands, the teenage geese, the carp, the lack of bunnies, and the ghetto swings, there was plenty going on.

Next was a stop at Alethia's, this retro candy store/ice cream parlor on Main and Transit.  I had the peach, it was tasty.  I had to stay far away from the candy section or you know I would have bought all of it.  They make their own Manischewitz fruit slices!  Well, maybe not exactly.  Also, this place was in an old house, and had the most awkward bathroom ever.

Finally, a stop at Glen Park in Williamsville rounded out the day.  We saw more carp, teenage ducklings, another waterfall, no bunnies, and best of all, a HERON in the falls who ate a fish in front of us.  Herons are the slowest birds ever but look so cool when flying.  Plus, when it ate the fish, we saw the fish flail in the beak, and it only took three bites.  Herons have crazy skinny necks that make it possible to see the fish being swallowed.  I will repeat this entire activity again if only for another heron.  The last one I saw was in 1995 at day camp.  It was hanging out in Allen's Creek.  If you don't see something too often, it's a good sign, so herons are officially on the list.

If that makes no sense, please watch the chicken tetrazzini video from The Soup.  It will change your life for about five minutes and is so worth it.

All I ever do now is go to work and go to school.  I rarely see people out of this context and I understand that some of it is my own fault.  However, it takes more than one side to stay in contact.  I can't be completely responsible for never going out anymore.  The fact that I am broke is only a small part of the problem.  I feel weird even mentioning this because I have a pretty good idea of what people will say.  As it happens, I managed to become the co-chair of the unofficial Librarian Entertainment Committee.  I've come up with some good ideas with my co-conspirators.  However, it still doesn't change the fact that everyone was talking about another girl's birthday party tonight that I wasn't invited to.  Not that I could go, thanks to my stupid Friday night class, but what is this, elementary school?  Or more accurately, middle school?

As of now, I am loving summer school.  Of course, this is because Young Adult class is amazing.  Tomorrow I have my education class.  Yes, tomorrow.  The boring reason for a Friday night class is that it didn't overlap with any other class.  I call shenanigans.  Also, it's another example of how the full time students are kicked to the curb in favor of the nontraditional and commuter students because we apparently don't count for anything. 

I've also taken up "jogging".  I want to run a 5K in the fall and not look stupid while doing so.  So far, Elaine and I have made two attempts to circle the track, occasionally jogging a few segments.  We are so lame compared to the serious runners.  The best part is looking around the lawn at Old Stadium and playing the Gopher, Prairie Dog or Groundhog? game.  It's a hoot.  Those things look like beavers sometimes.  Who knew gopher-like creatures have such big tails?

I got my final grade in cataloging. I got an A-, which is SO UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME!  This brings my GPA to a 3.87, not a huge change, but my semester GPA is a 3.9, the highest I've ever gotten in a complete semester.  YAY!

Summer classes start next week.  I'm looking forward to having something to do on a regular basis.  I also registered for my first teacher exam next month.  I'm nervous because I've been told that you can't really study for it, which sucks.  But what can you do?  Liberal Arts Subject Test, meet LibraryNerd.  We can conquer this.  Despite my newfound empowerment, I still feel like a massive underachiever because I haven't lined up my student teaching for the fall.  In my defense, you don't need to do so until the fall.  But watching everyone else succeed while I act the fool makes me feel even stupider.

Also, my job is a classic reminder to stay in school.

Finally, for your entertainment, I present this clip of Keith Olbermann calling out Miss Bigot California USA on her constantly contradicting statements.  Yes, Olbermann can be quite the blowhard when he wants to be, but since he constantly defends SUNY schools (he went to the Ag school at Cornell and called out Ann Coulter for calling it the equivalent of Yale Locksmithing College), I love him.  We're getting the same education for a much lower price, people!  More on that at another time.

I can't believe it.  23.5 out of 25!  I rocked that bitch.  Now if only I could get my grade for the class.  I worked my ass off and I want something to show for it.  And unrelated, but WELCOME BACK, A-ROD!

I just got back from NYLA SLMS yesterday. I had a blast and discovered that I'm still terrified of the real world. Also, even though I say I'll go wherever I can get a job, I'm not sure I mean it anymore.

More to come, but for now, enjoy the dancing bird: